


That's My Pudding (Bitch)

by roe87



Series: Winterhawk [4]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Annoyed Clint Barton, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Bickering, Bisexual Clint Barton, Domestic Avengers, Embarrassment, Enemies to Friends, First Meetings, Fluff and Humor, Frenemies, Friendship, Gay Bucky Barnes, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Human Disaster Clint Barton, Humor, M/M, Making Up, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roe87/pseuds/roe87
Summary: Clint is pissed that The Avengers have a new sniper on the team; some world famous assassin or something.So, he's feeling super petty and steals the guy's pudding at lunch.It's all downhill from there.(The one where Clint is a bi disaster, and Bucky is really hot.)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Series: Winterhawk [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1386193
Comments: 17
Kudos: 127





	That's My Pudding (Bitch)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HeyBoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyBoy/gifts).



> This is nonsense, please enjoy!
> 
> Pudding theft inspiration in End Chapter notes.
> 
> ~~~

Clint was pissed.

He took a vacation, _one vacation_ , and came back to find his team-mates had recruited a new sniper without telling him.

_Clint_ was the sniper. Sniping was _his_ post on the team, dammit. Okay so the new guy was a recovering, brainwashed and currently homeless ex-assassin, and also Cap's BFF, but nobody had asked Clint about it first.

And he had a cool metal arm, and a dope all-black costume with a little eye mask, and long flowing hair. He looked like the male version of a Bond girl, for Pete's sake.

Which was even worse in a way, because not only had the team picked a new sniper behind Clint's back, but they'd gone and picked a really hot, badass one too.

Just, unfair.

So on Clint's first day back in the Tower, training day with the new recruits, he may have been feeling just a _little_ petty.

And when he went into the smaller break room at lunch and opened up the ice box, he saw a brown paper bag in there with _Bucky_ written on it.

Clint looked behind him, but nobody was around except that new Spider kid sitting at a table, fiddling with his phone.

So Clint opened up the paper bag and nosed inside. There was a sandwich, and also a pot of pudding. Clint felt the urge to be extremely petty today, so he swiped the pudding from the bag then closed the icebox. He took a spoon and went to sit on the table adjacent to the Spider kid.

"Hey," he said, sitting down. "Uh... what was your name again?"

"Peter," the kid said, muffled by his mask. "I'm so hype to be here!"

"Yeah, yeah," Clint replied. Damn, they'd be swimming in newbies soon. At least this kid wasn't a sniper too.

Clint waited a few moments, with Peter chatting away at him, to see if the man himself, Mr. Hot-shot Sniper, would come into the break room too. Clint peeled off the pudding's lid, inspecting the gooey, chocolatey contents inside. He didn't even like chocolate that much.

Then Bucky strolled in, boots making quite a bit of noise on the linoleum considering the guy was supposed to be the world's greatest assassin or whatever.

Clint pretended not to watch Bucky as he went to the icebox and opened it, and he really had to keep a straight face while Bucky got out his lunch bag and looked inside.

There was a long moment of him just staring inside his bag, probably noting his pudding wasn't there, then he looked around the break room and noticed what was in Clint's hands.

Clint continued talking to Peter as if nothing was amiss.

"Excuse me," Bucky interjected. "You're eating my pudding."

Peter stopped talking while Clint merely smiled pleasantly. "I haven't eaten anything," he replied.

"Alright," Bucky said with a sigh. "You're _holding_ my pudding."

"So?" Clint challenged.

"So, it's mine," Bucky said flatly. "The pudding in your hand."

"I don't see your name on it," Clint retorted.

"Actually my name is on it." Bucky pointed with a metal finger. "On the lid there."

Oh, Clint thought, looking at the discarded lid on the table. His name was on the lid in black scrawl. _Bucky_. Who wrote their name onto a pudding cup, seriously?

Clint shrugged in reply. "And?"

"That's my pudding," Bucky said firmly. "I brought it here."

"And I brought it _here_."

Bucky took a step forward as he glowered at Clint. "I _paid_ for it."

"Maybe you stole it?" Clint said.

"Maybe I _didn't_."

"Well, what if you did?" Clint mused, waving his spoon around. "Then whose pudding is it then?"

"It's still mine," Bucky argued.

Clint sucked air in through his teeth. "I dunno. What I _do_ know is, I saw it sitting there on its own in the icebox so I brought it here. So now it's mine."

"He kind of does have a point," Peter piped up. "I mean, in a situation like this the pudding is sort of like cash, so it belongs to whoever––"

"No one is talking to you!" Bucky snapped at Peter.

"Ooh, someone's cranky." Clint chuckled. "He sure could use some pudding!"

"That _is_ my pudding," Bucky directed to Clint.

"No, it's a pudding in _my_ mouth." Clint shoved his spoon into the pot and transferred a spoonful of gloopy pudding into his mouth. "Sorry!" he said with his mouth full.

Bucky watched this quietly, still staring Clint down. "You are not sorry," he said (and it was true, Clint wasn't sorry). Bucky's eyes narrowed at him. "But you will be."

"Oh, really?" Clint left the pudding on the table as he got up and stood in front of Bucky. "What are you gonna do about it?" He spread his arms out, expecting a Bucky to at least throw a punch, but he didn't move, didn't react. "Well?" Clint prompted. "Got nothing to say?"

"No," Bucky replied calmly, meeting Clint's eye. "Just thinking of all the things I'm going to do about it."

Clint blinked. That... sounded quite menacing, actually.

With a final pointed glare, Bucky turned on his heel and left the break room dramatically.

Peter whistled under his breath. "That was heavy," he muttered, as Clint rejoined him at the table. "You better hope he doesn't go get Cap to come beat you up."

"This isn't middle school," Clint replied, while looking at the uneaten pudding on the table.

It wasn't middle school, it was worse.

~~

Clint realised he'd probably only made things harder for himself by starting something with Bucky, when Bucky retaliated in the shooting gallery.

Clint loved target practice to unwind after a hard day, and his favorite spot in the gallery was at the end row. Then one day Bucky started appearing in the spot right next to Clint's favorite spot, and making so much noise with his automatic guns, _blam blam blam,_ that Clint got distracted and couldn't unwind.

And it didn't matter if Clint tried to use a different spot either, as Bucky just moved along with him and continued firing off his noisy rounds right next to Clint.

It was irritating, but Clint could deal.

Then one evening, absolute horror of horror's: Clint's favorite bow and arrow was missing from the armory.

There was no evidence of his locker having been tampered with, and yet his favorite bow and arrows weren't there.

It had to be Barnes, he thought, marching straight down to the range. Sure enough, Bucky was there in Clint's favorite spot, and the asshole was holding Clint's _favorite_ bow and quiver of arrows. (He actually looked pretty good with it, too, damn him.)

"Excuse me," Clint said, stepping up behind Bucky. He cleared his throat when Bucky made no indication to acknowledge Clint, but continued to aim his arrow. "Excuse..." Clint started, then checked Bucky's stance. "You should place your feet further apart."

Bucky let loose the arrow, and whether it was because Clint had distracted him or not, it landed off center from the bullseye. He turned his head to glance at Clint. "I should what?" he said, sounding confused.

"Feet," Clint repeated. "You should place your feet further apart, and stand side on to the target."

"Excuse _me_ ," Bucky replied, taking another arrow out, "but I don't need instructions from _you_."

"Oh, alright, then." Clint chuckled wryly. "Do your best, Purdy."

Bucky lowered the bow as he looked at Clint in surprise. "Did you just call me pretty?"

"What?" Clint spluttered. "Purdy! I said Purdy."

"Yeah?" Bucky tilted his head thoughtfully. "Are you hitting on me?"

"What!" Clint actually blushed. "Purdy! From the Avengers! I mean the '60s one!"

Bucky shrugged.

"The TV show!" Clint cried out. "Joanna Lumley? It was her name. Black catsuit and... Look, forget it, alright?"

Bucky raised an eyebrow at him. He didn't have his eye mask on now, and his eyes were very blue. "Alright," he drawled. "You know, I needed a new call sign on the team anyway."

"Uh," Clint said, unsure what to say as Bucky went back to aiming at the target. He watched as Bucky adjusted his stance, doing as Clint had told him before pulling the bow taught. "Um, pull it tighter," Clint told him. "It'll give the arrow more speed."

"Obviously," Bucky murmured as he sighted the shot. "But I didn't want to break the thing, I do have a bionic arm."

"Oh," Clint said. "Okay."

Bucky let loose the arrow, and it was a closer to the center this time. He smiled briefly at Clint, like he was pleased. "Well, why don't you see if you can do any better?" he teased, offering the bow and arrows out. "Give it a try."

"Give it a try?" Clint scoffed. "Don't even go there."

"Oh, I went there," Bucky replied, stepping out the way. "I went there, took pictures and came back already."

Clint laughed, surprising himself. Maybe Bucky was more fun than he'd first thought.

"Okay, okay," he muttered, arranging the quiver and getting set up. "Watch and learn, young Padawan." He got into position and pulled out an arrow.

Shooting arrows was a piece of cake, especially when Clint didn't have loud guns going off right next to him. Bucky stood quietly to the side, out of sight so Clint could concentrate on his shot.

He was just about to let the arrow fly when something tickled the back of his hair. Clint's arrow went flying wildly off target and landed somewhere at the back of the shooting range.

Clint whirled around to look at Bucky accusingly, seeing him smiling back at him.

"What?" Bucky asked innocently.

"You touched my hair?" Clint felt at his head, wondering if he'd put anything gross there. Nothing felt out of place though.

"Maybe I did," Bucky replied. "But a good marksman should be able to shoot amid distraction."

Clint raised his eyebrows. "Oh, it's like that, is it?"

Bucky's smile widened.

"Well, why don't you do better, hot-shot," Clint challenged, stepping out of the spot. "Bet you anything you won't do better."

"Alright," Bucky agreed, taking the firearm out from his thigh holster. "But," he added, staring Clint dead in the eye, "touch my hair and die a slow, agonising death. Got it?"

Clint nodded silently. He wasn't about to court death.

However...

As Bucky stepped up and aimed his shot, Clint's eyes dropped down to the guy's ass, clad in black tac pants. Before Clint had thought it through, he slapped Bucky's ass just as he was taking his shot.

The bullet clipped the target before hitting the back wall, probably landing around the same spot as Clint's arrow had, and Bucky spun round to look at Clint with wide eyes.

"I-I'm sorry," Clint said feebly. "I'm not sure why I did that."

"You do that in the field?" Bucky asked dryly.

"What? No," Clint said. "Look, truce? Can we start over?" He held up his hands. "Please don't kill me."

Bucky's eyebrow quirked up. "I thought you were picking on me and taking my lunch because I'm gay," he said. "Now you've called me a woman's name _and_ slapped my ass, so I'm not sure what it is you're doing."

"Oh, man." Clint put both hands on his face. "No, no. I was mad because you're a sniper and _I'm_ a sniper, that's all. But I'm over it, I swear. I didn't even know you were gay, man. I'm bi anyway."

"Hm?" Bucky made an interested noise, re-holstering his gun. "I see. So..."

"So...?"

"Tell me more about this Purdy?" Bucky asked.

"Er, alright." Clint laughed. "Let's go upstairs. I'm sure JARVIS can find a clip or two to watch."

~~

The next day, Clint waited in the breakroom at lunch for Bucky to appear.

He was minding his own business today, eating a bagel. Peter and Natasha were on the next table, talking about spider venom or something.

Bucky walked into the breakroom, glancing over at Clint and the team briefly before going to the icebox. Clint waited, saw Bucky pause when he discovered the surprise Clint had left in there.

Bucky looked over at him, like he was checking. Clint gestured that it was okay, and thankfully Bucky took the gift and brought his lunch over to Clint's table.

"You got me pudding?" he asked, holding up the four pack with his name on it.

Clint gestured for him to sit down. "Yeah. You like that kind, right?"

"I like all pudding," Bucky replied, sitting down opposite. "Thanks," he added, smiling.

"You're welcome," Clint told him, his cheeks blushing hard.

Natasha and Peter were craning their necks on the next table to grin at Clint, so he signed under the table to Nat, _shut up,_ _go away._

"You want one?" Bucky offered, snapping off a pudding cup and sliding it over to Clint.

"Sure," he said, taking the pudding.

It tasted like sweet, sweet success.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave me a comment if you liked it!
> 
> Pudding theft inspired by the scene in [Ratched](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jSj1UCrmRw). 
> 
> I am on [tumblr](http://jro616.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/jro616).


End file.
